


Bygones

by ad_i



Series: Haikyuu!Single Shots [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Angst, Akaashi is sad you guys, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Friends With Benefits, M/M, bokuto angst, sed, sed lyfe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ad_i/pseuds/ad_i
Summary: "I know it's hard for you to let go, but sometimes letting go is a form of mercy upon yourself."BOKUTO KOUTAROU X AKAASHI KEIJI ANGST――――――――――――――――――↳tw: mentions of anxiety and weight loss!!𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗠𝗬 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥--𝗜 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗛𝗨𝗡𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗦𝗨𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗚.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Haikyuu!Single Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738417
Kudos: 11





	Bygones

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_"I know it's hard for you to let go, but sometimes letting go is a form of mercy upon yourself."_

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_._

_._

* * *

I looked at Bokuto, unable to say a word. His once kind eyes that doted on me endlessly no cold voids. My heart lurched--but I didn’t know why.

“We’re just not compatible--that’s all. You even said so yourself when you first broke it off.” He told me in a steely tone, I looked down my hands trembling. All this time--I felt nothing for him, nothing for the narcissistic personality. But now? My attachment to him had grown so strong that it’d become unbearable and lethal.

An attachment far more deeper and far more dangerous than any type of love. For it wasn’t Bokuto that I desired, it was his attention and his coddling.

“You were being so nice the other day...have you found someone better than me?” I asked meekly, cursing myself for allowing him to have the upper hand. He seemed to not take advantage of my weakness however, simply rolling his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter now, does it? I told you I stopped speaking to you because I knew this ‘slow turkey’ method you’re trying to do isn’t gonna work. We aren’t compatible and that’s that.”

“I know that,” I hissed, “I know that…”

“Akaashi, there’s nothing else to say so--”

“And for the record--!” I said venomously, interrupting him. “I never wanted to date you, I never had any real emotions for you. I just liked your attention--so don’t think you’ve won.” Bokuto snorted,

“If that’s what you want, sure.” And he turned on his heel and walked away. I watched Bokuto walk away from me into the distance, fully aware of the fact that he was returning home to the new girl he dropped me for despite his incompatibility claims.

And Bokuto wasn’t wrong. We truly were incompatible--me simply wanting company and Bokuto wanting so, so much more than I was comfortable with. And when Bokuto realized he wasn’t getting his way, he left me and managed to find someone new within just days of me breaking things off.

My hands shook and my heart pounded, the severity of my attachment to him had grown so much to the point where it had solidified into pure anxiety. I clutched my chest and swallowed the lump in my throat and trudged back to my apartment.

Days and days had passed as my nights grew more and more restless. How shameful it was of me to be losing weight and life because of a stupid boy I wasn’t even in love with.

I scrolled through my social media, sickened by the interactions between Bokuto and his new toy splayed all over my screen. My hands quickly scrambling to block him, but the image of both of their smiles imprinted within my brain, mind growing weaker by the moment.

* * *

“Akaashi, you look sickly.” Konoha said from behind me, I looked up at him and looked back down, slowly nodding my head. Worried eyes peering at me through dirty blonde hair as he set a coffee cup in front of me. His voice hushed despite the two of us being in a quite secluded area within the café we'd sat in.

“I’m aware.” I said quietly, “But it’s not like I have reason to look good anymore…” Konoha quirked a brow at my words,

“Akaashi, Bokuto’s validation of you means nothing. You’ve personified your self-worth into his validation. His opinion, my opinion, anyone’s opinion doesn’t matter! The only person you need to worry about accepting you is yourself. Look this is harsh, but how is anyone supposed to love you if you can’t even love yourself Akaashi?”

I looked away from Konoha, the tightness in my chest returning once again as his words resonated with me deeply.

“Some things are meant to stay in the past Akaashi, this was a learning experience for you. A reminder not to repeat your mistakes again. But this doesn’t mean that your world has stopped or that your worth is suddenly lesser.” Konoha explained,

“I know that you weren’t very fond of him, but you’ll still take time to get over it. Learn from it, and let it go Akaashi. His attention and affection towards you does not define who you are as a person and neither does it determine your physical worth.”

Tears began to fall from my eyes as I sat in front of Konoha, teeth chattering uncontrollably.

“You’re right, Konoha.” I blubbered, “It’s time to grow up, it’s time to move on.”

**Author's Note:**

> ↳ [i'm so sorry I made bokuto the bad guy in this]  
> ↳ [but at the time i had wrote this i rlly needed this for my own sanity LOL]  
> ↳ [hence why it's so shittly written SDFJLS]


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